cancer sucks

I’m crying right now as I type.  The kids are upstairs for naps, my husband is upstairs working (or maybe pretending) and I am downstairs crying and trying to type and get out some of this emotion before the kids come back down.

The vets called with the results of the malignancy panel they ran on our dog Tool and he has cancer.  Tomorrow my husband will drop him off in the morning to have an abdominal ultrasound and possibly chest x-rays to see if they can locate the cancer.  We will go in to pick him up in the early afternoon and find out the possible treatment plan.

I hope there is a treatment plan that will take the cancer away but unfortunately I am a horrible pessimist.  My husband is the optimist and in this case I wish I could be too.  Hopefully tomorrow they will see a tumor that they can surgically remove that will make my wonderful, handsome puppy all better.  He isn’t even seven yet – his birthday is coming up in a few weeks.

But today I get to put on a happy face for the kids and pretend nothing is wrong.  I honestly think this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealt with.  I realize some people won’t understand -they’ll say he’s just a pet – well to me he is like one of my kids and I just feel heartbroken.

Here’s a look at my handsome pup!

Tool the puppy meeting his mama and daddy:

Tool the big brother:

So I guess I’ll just try to smile through my tears and make the most of every minute.  Hopefully tomorrow we find out we can do something to make Tool better!  Fingers crossed, prayers, well wishes – whatever you can provide I need it.